爆笑的英語笑話大全帶翻譯

　　近年來,冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象在網路、雜誌上十分盛行。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：還沒那麼急

　　Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor’s consulting-room. “Doctor,” he said, “you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago.” “Good heavens, man!” said the doctor. “Why have you waited so long? Why don’t you come to me on the day you swallowed it?” “To tell you the truth, Doctor,” the poor man replied, “I didn’t need the money so badly then.”

　　一個看起來很難受的窮人走進大夫的診室。“大夫!” 他說，“幫幫我!一個月前我吞了一分硬幣!” “天哪，” 大夫說，“ 早幹嘛去了?你當時怎麼不來看?” “實話告訴您吧，大夫，”窮人說，“我當時還不缺錢!”

　　：老夫妻吵嘴

　　A couple of codgers got into a quarrel and came before the local magistrate. The loser,turning to his opponent in a combative frame of mind, cried: "I'll law you to the CircuitCourt."

　　一對性情乖僻的老夫妻發生了爭吵，一直鬧到地方法官那裡。敗訴的一方以一種臨戰的姿態衝著對方嚷道：

　　“我要到巡回法庭去告你。”

　　"I'm willing," said the other.

　　“願意奉陪。”另一個說。

　　"I'll law you to the Supreme Court."

　　“我要到最高法院去告你。”

　　"I'll be there."

　　“我也陪你。”

　　"And I'll law the hell!"

　　“我還要到地獄去告你。”

　　"My attorney will be there," was the calm reply.

　　“我的代理人會奉陪的。”對方平靜的說。

　　：Millionaire

　　百萬富翁

　　CEO: "My wife made a millionaire out of me."

　　主管：我妻子使我成為百萬富翁。

　　Assistant: "What were you before?"

　　助手：以前你是什麼?

　　CEO: "a multimillionaire."

　　主管：千萬富翁。

　　：又一個引擎出了故障

　　A Boeing 747 was flying in the night sky of the Pacific Ocean. The captain got on the loudspeaker:" Travellers, one of our engines was out of order , therefore we’ll arrive in Tokyo anhour late ."

　　一架波音747飛行在太平洋的夜空，喇叭裡傳來機長的聲音：“旅客們，我們的一個引擎壞了，因此我們將晚到達東京一個小時。”

　　After a short while, the trumpet rang out again:" Everybody, the second one of our fourengines went wrong, we will reach Tokyo late three hours as a result." At this time, thepassengers started disturbance.

　　過了一會兒，喇叭再次響起：“諸位，我們四個引擎中又壞了一個引擎，為此我們將晚到三個小時。”這時，乘客開始騷動。

　　Someone said:" In case another engine is down again , we’ll be up here all night." Moreover, achap got to shouting unendurably:" I do not choose to take your awful airplane any longer, letme get off quickly."

　　有人說：“萬一再壞一個，我們得呆在天上一整夜了。”還有已經受不了的，大叫：“我再也不坐你們的破飛機了，快讓我下去。”