關於比較簡單的英語笑話

　　笑話***анекдот***是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：The Christian Horse

　　There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house andcollapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?"

　　The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop."

　　Not paying much attetion, the man says, "Sure, ok."

　　So he gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God" and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop.

　　"Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!"

　　Finally he remembers, "Amen!!"

　　The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God."

　　：How Many Dogs Does It Take

　　How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

　　Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

　　Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

　　Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

　　Rottweiler: Make me.

　　Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

　　Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

　　German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

　　Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

　　Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

　　Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

　　Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...

　　Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

　　Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle .

　　Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

　　The Cat's Answer: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?

　　：Doggie Funeral

　　This rich man died and left in his will that when his dog died he was to have a funeral and who ever did the funeral would get a million dollars.

　　When the dog died--the executor started asking various faiths of the cloth if they would do the funeral. All refused. Finally he asked this old country preacher if he would do the funeral. "Why Brother--I don't do dogs funerals!"

　　"OK" the executor replied, "But the one who does this funeral gets a fat one million dollars!". The preacher replied "Now wait a Minute --- you didn't tell me this dog was a Christian!"

　　：Special Pig

　　Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

　　"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"

　　"And the boar tore up his leg?" "No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"

　　"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?" "No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."

　　"And that was when he hurt his leg?" "Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."

　　"OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"

　　"Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once."

　　：Cross-eyed Rottweiler

　　A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to the vet: "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for it?"

　　"Well" said the vet "lets have a look at him"

　　So he picks the dog up and has a good look at it's eyes.

　　"Well" says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down"

　　"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man.

　　"No, because he's heavy" says the vet.