簡單經典的英語笑話大全

　　笑話是近年來語言學研究比較盛行的話題,其研究方法主要側重於語用學研究,但幽默的產生機制和複雜性決定了幽默研究需要多種語言學理論的交叉與合作。下面是小編帶來的簡單經典的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　簡單經典的英語笑話篇一

　　I hung him up to dry 我把他吊起來讓他晾乾

　　Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom.

　　Jim和Mary都是精神病院裡的病人。一天，他們沿著醫院的游泳池散步，Jim突然跳入泳池的深水區，他沉到了底部。

　　Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

　　Mary立刻跳下去救他，她潛到水底，把Jim拉了上來。

　　When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office.

　　當院長聽聞了Mary的英勇行為後，他立刻翻她的病歷檔案,把她叫進了自己的辦公室，

　　"Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses.

　　“Mary，我有一個好訊息和一個壞訊息要告訴你。好訊息是你能跳入水中救其他病人，這說明你的意識已經恢復了，你可以出院了。

　　The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom，he's dead."

　　壞訊息就是，Jim，你救的那個病人，他還是用自己的浴袍帶子在浴室上吊自殺了。”

　　Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."

　　Mary說：“他沒有自殺，是我把他吊起來好讓他晾乾。”

　　簡單經典的英語笑話篇二

　　Five Hundred Times五百遍

　　In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.

　　在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭裡，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由於開車闖紅燈被開了***。

　　She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye.

　　女士向法官解釋，她是一名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。

　　"You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

　　法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：“你是學校的老師，對嗎?女士，我馬上要實現我畢生的願望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍。”

　　簡單經典的英語笑話篇三

　　Your Horse Called馬打電話來了

　　A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.

　　一個傢伙正在看報紙，他的妻子走到他身後，用一隻煎鍋敲他的後腦勺。

　　He asks, "What was that for?"

　　他問道：“這是為什麼?”

　　She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."

　　她說：“我在你口袋裡發現了一張寫有‘Betty Sue’的紙條。”

　　He says, "Jeez, honey, 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I bet on." She shrugs and walks away.

　　他說：“哎呀，親愛的，‘Betty Sue’是我賭的那匹馬的名字。”

　　Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.

　　她聳了聳肩，走了。 三天後他正在看報紙，妻子走到他身後，又用一隻煎鍋敲他的後腦勺。

　　He asks, "What was that for?"

　　他問：“這又是為什麼?”

　　She answers, "Your horse called."

　　她答道：“你的馬打電話來了。”