關於簡短兒童英語笑話

　　笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂的一種常見語言現象,其目的在於在會話過程中傳遞和激發幽默感。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Railroad

　　A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he was hit and thrown to the side of the tracks, with some internal injuries, a few broken bones, and somebruises.

　　After months in the hospital recovering, he was at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly heard the tea kettle whistling. He grabbed a baseball bat from the nearby closet and bashed the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushed into the kitchen, saw what had happened, and asked the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"

　　The desert man replied, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."

　　：Your soooo dumb...

　　You got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!

　　A doctor would live next door while you bleed to death trying to call 911!

　　You cant count to 21 because you its too high for your fingers and toes!

　　You used a knife to bust open the door then discoverd it was unlocked!

　　You were in a food market and asked where they keep the tools!

　　You put lipstick on the dog to test because the bottle said Not tested on animals and dicided to try it yourself!

　　You looked for a K-Jewelers by a K-B-Toys!

　　You stared at your kids juice box because it said concentrated!

　　You kept buying Coke bottles because it kept sayin Try Again!

　　You cant figure out the instructions for a pencil sharpener!

　　You decided not to buy your little girl a game boy because you thought it was for boys!

　　You looked in an Encyclopedia for the meaning of Practical joke and couldnt find it!

　　You then looked in a Dictionary for the meaning of practical jokes and it said turn to Spare time and it said 2Wasted time and to turn to practical joke and, repeated, repeated, repeated...

　　You couldnt find the zipper for your pants!

　　：Naming the Twins

　　A woman three months pregnant falls into a deep coma. Six months later, she awakes and asks the nearest doctor about the fate of her baby.

　　"You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine," says the doctor. "Luckily, your brother named them for you."

　　"Oh shit, not by brother! He's an idiot! What did he call the girl?"

　　"Denise," the doctor replies.

　　Thinking that isn't so bad, she asks, "And what did he call the boy?"

　　The doctor answers, "Denephew."

　　：Mercedes-Benz

　　A taxi driver driving a Mercedes-Benz picked up a rather simple looking fellow at the airport one day.

　　When the gentleman got in and they started on their way he enquired what the three pinned emblem on the front is for. The driver replied "why it's for lining it up at people so you can run them down".

　　"Ah I see", said the man.

　　With this the taxi driver starts heading straight for an elderly woman but at the last second swerves away and hears a loud bang, he looks curiously over at the passenger who is hanging out of the car with the door wide open: "I thought you were going to miss there for a minute!".

　　：Safety Study

　　The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged that they had for the past five years covertly funded a project with US auto makers whereby the auto makers installed black boxes in four wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

　　They were surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states that the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!" Only the states of West Virginia, Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Texas, and Tennessee were different, where over 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this."