關於初中課前英語笑話

　　笑話作為一種城市化的民間口頭創作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。笑話可能只是文字遊戲,但有時它在人們解決生活中的困惑時起著重要作用。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Chuckie Chicken

　　An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?"

　　The old farmer said, "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Wherever I go, Chuckie goes."

　　"I'm sorry, Sir," said the ticket girl, "We can't allow animals in the theater. Not even a pet chicken."

　　The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the chicken down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge.

　　The movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer un-zipped his pants so Chuckie could stick his head out and watch the movie.

　　"Marge," whispered Mildred.

　　"What?" said Marge.

　　"I think the guy next to me is a pervert."

　　"What makes you think so?" asked Marge.

　　"He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out," whispered Mildred.

　　"Well, don't worry about it," said Marge, "At our age it isn't anything we haven't seen before."

　　"Yes," said Mildred, "But this one's eating my popcorn!"

　　：Camel Questions

　　A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?"

　　The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand".

　　"OK" said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"

　　"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert", "Thanks Mom" replies the son.

　　After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??"

　　The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods."

　　"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water.

　　But Mom", "Yes son?"

　　"Why the heck are we in the San Diego Zoo?"

　　：Comfortable

　　Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

　　In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

　　The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

　　The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.

　　After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

　　The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

　　After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"

　　The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'"

　　The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow."

　　：Counting Sheep

　　An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.

　　"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."

　　"Have you tried counting sheep?"

　　"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

　　：Dangerous Squirrels

　　A man, Bob, and his friend Joe went out hunting. This was Joe抯 first time ever hunting, so he was following Bob抯 lead.

　　Bob saw a small herd of deer and told Joe to stay in the exact spot he was and to be quiet!

　　After a few minutes, Bob heard a loud scream. He ran back and asked Joe what had happened.

　　Joe said "There was this snake and he slittered across my feet, but I never screamed.

　　Then there was this bear that came up to me and snarled, but I never screamed."

　　"So then what did make you scream," Bob asked, exasperated. "Well," Joe continued, "two squirells crawled up my pants and I overheard them say, "Should we take them home or eat 抏m now?""