初中搞笑英語笑話大全

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。與此同時,笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。小編整理了初中搞笑英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　初中搞笑英語笑話：THE FIRE DOG

　　A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog.

　　The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be.

　　"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

　　"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

　　A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"

　　初中搞笑英語笑話：CRUISING WITH THE PENGUINS

　　A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."

　　The guy says OK, and drives away.

　　The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"

　　The guy replies: "I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"

　　初中搞笑英語笑話：UPSETTING THE STEWARDESS

　　On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get me a coke, you cow!"

　　The stewardess, flustered, brings back a coke for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

　　When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another coke dogface!"

　　Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another coke but still no coffee.

　　Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now you old goat!"

　　The next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.

　　Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly, you've got some guts!"

　　初中搞笑英語笑話：THE INTELLIGENCE FACTOR

　　A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

　　Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

　　About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!'

　　The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what's happening.

　　She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

　　She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was kept repeating, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."

　　初中搞笑英語笑話：THE RABBIT AND THE SNAKE

　　A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.

　　The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.

　　He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..."

　　The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake.

　　He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..."

　　The snake says, "Oh no, I'm a lawyer."