輕鬆生活英語笑話

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：速度限制

　　The British RAF base where I was stationed as part of a contingent of USAF personnel had one narrow road winding through the crowded residential area. After a rash of minor vehicle pedestrian accidents, the USAF commander decided to reduce the speed limit to three m.p.h.

　　Shortly after the new limit was posted, an MP sergeant issued a speeding citation to a jeep driver for going five m.p.h. I was curious to know how the MP had determined the jeep's speed so exactly. "I was jogging to get to the PX before it closed," he explained, "and as I passed the jeep, I noticed that the speedometer read five m.p.h."

　　我作為美國空軍人員分遣部隊的一員駐紮在英國皇家空軍某某地，那裡有一條狹窄的馬路蜿蜒穿過擁擠的居民區。因為多次出現汽車撞傷行人一類不甚嚴重的車禍，美國空軍司令員決定將車速限制在每小時三英里。

　　新的車速限制公佈後不久，一名騎警中士因一名吉普車司機開車時速達五英里而給他開了一張超速傳票。

　　我很想知道騎警是怎樣如此精確地知道那輛吉普車的速度的。“我遛達著要在郵局關門之前到達那裡，”他解釋道：“當我超過吉普車時，我注意到計速器指向了每小時五英里。

　　：法官與小偷

　　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

　　"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

　　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

　　那天是聖誕節，法官在審訊犯人時也有點惻隱之心。“你為什麼而被起訴?”他問。

　　“採購聖誕節物品過早。”被告答。

　　“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購物多早?”

　　在商店開門之前，“犯人應道。

　　：我們只聽一面之辭

　　A judge asked our group of potential jurors***陪審員*** whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand."I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge."Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head."You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."

　　一位法官問我們這群修補陪審員是否有人應當免權，一個人舉起了手。“我的左耳聽不見。”那人告訴法官。“你的右邊耳朵聽得見嗎?”法官問道，那人點了點頭。“你將被允許加入陪審團，”法官宣佈，“我們每次只聽一面之辭。”