關於五年級英語笑話短文

　　笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。小編分享關於五年級英語笑話短文，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：A Fish Watching a Fly

　　There was this fish, and this fish was watching a fly, the fish wanted the fly to drop six inches so he could jump and eat it.

　　There was a bear on the shore, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump and the bear could swipe the fish for lunch.

　　There was a hunter in the woods, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would swipe and the fish and come out into plain view.

　　There was a mouse eyeing the hunters sandwhich, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would move into plain view, the hunter would shoot the bear then the hunter would go get the bear and the mouse could get the sandwhich.

　　There was a cat waiting for the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would move into plain view, the hunter would shoot the bear and for the mouse to go for the sandwhich.

　　So the fly drops six inches, the fish jumps in the air, the bear catches the fish, the hunter shoots the bear and the mouse swipes the sandwhich. The blast from the hunters gun startled the cat, which jumped into the river.

　　The moral of the story is...When the fly drops six inches the pussy gets wet.

　　：Get Away From My Deer

　　It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walked down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he found his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.

　　Jake asked her, "What are you up to?"

　　Alice smiled. "I'm going hunting with you!"

　　Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decided to take her along. Later they arrived at the hunting site. Jake set his wife safely up in the tree stand and told her, "If you see a deer, take careful aim and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."

　　Jake walked away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant, much less a deer. Not 10 minutes passed when he was startled as he heard an array of gunshots.

　　Quickly, Jake ran back. As Jake got closer to her stand, he heard Alice screaming: "Get away from my deer!"

　　Confused, Jake raced faster towards his screaming wife. And again he heard her yell: "Get away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire!

　　Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake was surprised to see a guy standing there with his hands high in the air. The guy, obviously distraught, said, "Okay, lady, okay!!!! You can have your deer!!! Just let me get my saddle off it!"

　　：Elephants

　　Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?

　　A: They're all on the same team.

　　Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed with you?

　　A: She has a big 'E' on her pajama jacket pocket.

　　Q: Why won't they allow elephants in public swimming pools?

　　A: Because they might let down their trunks.

　　Q. Why do elephants have four feet?

　　A. Because lady elephants have big twats.

　　Q: What do elephants use for tampons?

　　A: Sheep.

　　Q: What do elephants use for condoms?

　　A: Snakes.

　　Q: What do elephants use for vibrators?

　　A: Epileptic pigmies.

　　Q: Why do elephants have long trunks?

　　A: 'Cos sheep don't have strings.

　　Q: How do you know when an elephant has its period?

　　A: There is a quarter on your dresser and your mattress is missing.

　　Q: What is an elephant's sex organ?

　　A: His foot... If he steps on you you're FUCKED!

　　Q: What do you call any elephant who is an expert on skin disorders?

　　A: A pachydermatologist.

　　Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?

　　A: Take away his credit card.

　　Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a hooker?

　　A: A two-ton pickup.

　　Q: What did the female elephant say during sex?

　　A: "Can I be on top this time?"

　　Q: What did the elephant say to the nude man?

　　A: Cute, but can you breathe through it?