每日英語笑話

　　笑話是幽默的一個屬概念 ,具有幽默的一切特徵。笑話是民族特有幽默的一種形式。本文是經典，希望對大家有幫助!

　　經典篇一

　　The Umbrella 雨傘

　　A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written,

　　"This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes."

　　When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,

　　"This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not come back."

　　一位住在旅館的紳士把他的雨傘放在了大廳裡，不過他在傘柄上繫了一張卡片，上面寫道，“此傘屬於一位能舉百磅的紳士。

　　我將在十分鐘內回來。”當他回來時，發現雨傘已經不翼而飛，取而代之的是另一張卡片，上面寫著：

　　“此卡是一位一小時能跑十英里的人留下的，我將永遠不回來了。

　　經典篇二

　　Perfect Match 絕配

　　A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.

　　Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.

　　Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son. ″Dad,″ says the son, ″there's something I've got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?″

　　″Son,″ the father replies, ″I painted the vase.″

　　一位富婆為擁有一隻珍貴的古玩花瓶而深感驕傲,以至於竟要把臥室漆成與花瓶同樣的顏色。幾名油漆匠試圖調出這個底色,但是誰也不能令那位古怪的婦女滿意。

　　最後來了位油漆匠。他非常自信能調出那種顏色。那位富婆對他的成果非常滿意,油漆匠於是一舉成名。

　　多年以後,他退休了,生意也交給了兒子。

　　“爸爸,”兒子說，“有件事我得弄清楚,您是怎樣使牆的顏色與花瓶配得那麼完美的?”

　　“兒子,”父親回答說，“我漆了花瓶。”

　　經典篇三

　　Only One Instance 傻瓜來信

        Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him.

　　He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″.

　　Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:

　　″I have known many an instance of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name,

　　but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″

　　一個星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那裡有他的幾封信。

　　他開啟其中一封,發現信中只寫著“傻瓜”兩個字。

　　他平靜而認真地把這件事告訴教友們：

　　“寫信時忘了簽名的人,我遇到過很多,但只簽名卻忘了寫信的人,我還是頭一次遇到。”

　　經典篇四

　　I’m the groom. 我就是新郎。

　　A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

　　"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."

　　"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

　　"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."

　　"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

　　A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

　　"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell,"I'm the groom."

　　在一個小鎮裡，一個警官攔住了一個在主街道上超速行駛的騎摩托車者。

　　“但是，警官，”這個男人開口說，“聽我解釋，”

　　“安靜，”警官打斷了他，“我要讓你到監獄裡做冷板凳，一直到長官回來。”

　　“但是警官，我只是想說…”

　　“我說過了，安靜，你將要下監獄!!”

　　幾個小時之後，警官看著他的犯人說，“你足夠的幸運，長官正在參見他女兒的婚禮，當他回來的時候一定心情不錯。”

　　“別指望了，”監獄裡的夥計說，“我就是新郎。”