英語笑話小短文精選大全

　　笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點;笑話能反映出一個民族的價值系統及其對周圍世界肯定和否定的態度。小編分享英語笑話小短文，希望可以幫助大家!

　　英語笑話小短文：Animals go to Heaven

　　A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them 'How do you like it so far?' The mouse replied 'It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said 'Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates. The next day God saw the cat and asked him 'How do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied 'Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'

　　英語笑話小短文：What is God's name?

　　A Christian man had just died and was on his way to heaven. When he got to the gates of heaven he met an angel. The angel asked him what God's name was.

　　'Oh that's easy,' the man replied, 'His name is Andy.'

　　'What make you think his name is Andy?' the angel asked incredulously.

　　'Well, you see at Church we used to sing this song 'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me.'

　　英語笑話小短文：Question and answer

　　Q: Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?

　　A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

　　Q: Why didn't Noah go fishing?

　　A: He only had two worms!

　　Q: When was the longest day in the Bible?

　　A: The day Adam was created because there was no Eve.

　　Q: Why did God create man before woman?

　　A: He didn't want any advice.

　　Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

　　A: A roamin' Catholic!

　　Doctor: 'Your recovery was a miracle!'

　　Patient: 'PRAISE GOD. Now I don't have to pay you!'

　　Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

　　A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

　　英語笑話小短文：History of a property

　　One of the best examples of how ridiculous government paperwork can be is illustrated by a recent case in Louisiana. A company president was trying to buy some land in Louisiana for a plant expansion, and he wanted to finance this new facility with a government loan.

　　His lawyer filled out all the necessary forms, including the abstract---tracing the title to the land back to 1803. The government reviewed his application and abstract and sent the following reply:

　　'We received today your letter enclosing application for your client supported by abstract of title. We have observed, however, that you have not traced the title previous to 1803, and before final approval, it will be necessary that the title be traced previous to that year. Yours truly.'

　　As a result, the lawyer sent the following letter to the government:

　　'Gentlemen, your letter regarding title received. I note you wish title to be claimed back further than I have done it.

　　'I was unaware that any educated man failed to know that Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France in 1803. The title of the land was acquired by France by right of conquest of Spain. The land came into possession of Spain in 1492 by right of discovery by a Spanish-Portugese sailor named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by Queen Isabella.

　　'The good queen, being a pious woman and careful about title, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope of Rome upon Columbus' voyage before she sold her jewels to help him.

　　'Now the Pope, as you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God. And God made the world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to assume that He also made that part of the United States called Louisiana, and I now hope you're satisfied.'