中學英語笑話短文閱讀

　　與一般日常會話不同,笑話刻意地違反合作原則,引匯出會話含意,並且利用會話含意之間的衝突來達到其預定功能。下面是小編帶來的中學英語笑話短文閱讀，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　keep driving my truck 繼續開我的卡車

　　With several years of Army National Guard duty under his belt,

　　依仗著在陸軍國家護衛隊服役的幾年經驗，

　　my roommate applied for officer training.

　　我的室友提交了參加軍官培訓的申請。

　　But his lifelong dreams were dashed after he failed the eye exam.

　　但他的畢生夢想在體檢未通過後破滅

　　"That's too bad," I sympathized.

　　“太糟了”，我同情地說。“

　　"Does that mean you now have to quit the Guard entirely?"

　　“這是不是意味著你完全不能再在護衛隊工作了?”

　　"No, I get to keep my old job," he said. "Driving trucks."

　　“這倒不是，我還是幹我的原來的工作”，他說。“開卡車”。

　　篇二

　　Bargain 討價還價

　　My son, a used-car dealer,

　　我兒子是個二手汽車商。

　　showed his customer a 2005 Chevy in great condition.

　　一次，他給一位顧客展示一輛車況還很不錯的2005年雪弗萊。

　　"And it's only $7, 000," he told the man.

　　“這輛車只要7000美元”，他跟顧客說。

　　"I'm willing to give you $3, 500," said the customer.

　　“我只想給3500美元”，顧客說。

　　My son feigned disappointment.

　　我兒子裝著很失望地回答說

　　"If at all possible," he responded, "I'd like to sell you the whole car."

　　“如果真的有可能，我原意整輛賣給你”。

　　篇三

　　Leave the color 把顏色留下

　　Years ago, people rented phones from the local telephone company

　　幾年前，人們從當地的電話公司租用電話時

　　and had the option of paying a one-time fee to have a color model.

　　只要選擇額外一次性地付一點錢就能拿到一個彩色的電話機。

　　One customer, who had had his phone for some time,

　　有一名顧客在電話用了一些日子後忘記了這個規則。

　　forgot how this worked.

　　當我去中斷他的電話服務時，

　　When I was disconnecting his service,

　　他不讓我把電話機帶走。

　　he objected to my leaving with his phone.

　　“那是我的電話機”，他生氣地說

　　"That's mine," he said angrily. "I paid for it."

　　“我付了錢的。”

　　"No, sir, you paid for the color, not the phone," I explained.

　　不是，先生，你付的是顏色的錢，不是手機。我給他解釋。

　　"Okay, take the phone," he said calmly, "but leave the color."

　　“那好，把電話拿走吧，”他平靜地說，“但顏色得留。

　　篇四

　　Blonde Detectives 美女偵探

　　A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives.

　　一位警官正在詢問三位想成為偵探的金髮女郎。

　　To test their skills in recognizing a suspect,

　　為了測試她們辨別嫌疑犯的技巧，

　　he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.

　　他讓其中一位看一張照片，五秒鐘後把照片藏了起來。

　　"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

　　“這就是你的嫌疑犯，你怎麼樣能把他再認出來?”

　　The first blonde answers,這位美女回答，

　　"That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

　　“這太容易了，他只有一隻眼睛，我一下就能認出他來!”

　　The policeman says,

　　警官說，

　　"Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."

　　“喔……嗯……那是因為這只是他的側面。”

　　Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response,

　　警官被這個荒謬的答案搞的有點不知所措，

　　he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her,

　　他把照片在第二位小姐面前一晃，五秒鐘後問道，

　　"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

　　“這就是你的嫌疑犯，你怎樣才能把他認出來?”

　　The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says,

　　女郎咯咯地傻笑，撩了撩自己的頭髮說，

　　"Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he has only one ear!"

　　“哈!他太容易被認出來了，因為他只有一隻耳朵!”

　　The policeman angrily responds,

　　警官惱怒地叫起來，

　　"What's the matter with you two?

　　你們兩個是怎麼搞的?

　　Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his profile!

　　他當然只有一隻眼睛一隻耳朵，因為這是他的側面像!

　　Is that the best answer you can come up with?"這就是你們最好的答案嗎?”

　　Extremely frustrated at this point,he shows the picture to the third blonde

　　他很洩氣地給第三位女郎看了照片，

　　and in a very testy voice asks,

　　很不耐煩地問她

　　"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"，

　　“這是你的嫌疑犯，你怎麼樣再認出他來?”

　　He quickly adds "... think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

　　他迅速又補充了一句，“在給我愚蠢的答案之前你先好好想想。”

　　The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,

　　這位美女很專心地看了一會兒，

　　"Hmmmm... the suspect wears contact lenses."

　　說，“他戴的是隱形眼鏡。”

　　The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

　　警官非常吃驚，一句話也說不出來了因為連他自己都不知道那個人是不是戴隱形眼鏡。

　　"Well, that's an interesting answer...“

　　嗯，這個答案真有意思。

　　wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that.

　　"你稍等，我去查一下他的檔案，馬上回來。”

　　He leaves the room and goes to his office,

　　他離開屋子回到辦公室，

　　checks the suspect's file in his computer,

　　查了下電腦中的檔案

　　and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.，

　　喜氣洋洋地回來了。

　　"Wow! I can't believe it... it's TRUE!

　　“哇!我簡直不能相信。是真的!

　　The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses.

　　他確實是戴隱形眼鏡的。你做得太棒了!你怎麼會有這麼敏銳的觀察力呢?”

　　Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

　　“很簡單啊，”女郎回答說，

　　"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

　　“他不可能帶普通眼鏡的嘛，因為他只有一隻眼睛和一隻耳朵。”