關於簡單英語笑話大全

　　在人們的日常生活及交往當中，英語笑話無處不在。小編整理了關於簡單英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於簡單英語笑話：Problems In Maths

　　Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Tommy down and enrolled him in the local Catholic School.

　　After the first day, little Tommy comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn't kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room & starts studying. Books & papers are spread out all over the room and little Tommy is hard at work. His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before. This goes on for sometime, day after day while the mother tries to understand what made all the difference.

　　Finally, little Tommy brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table and goes up to his room and hits the books. With great trepidation, his mom looks at it and to her surprise, little Tommy got an A in math. She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room and says: "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?"

　　Little Tommy looks at her and shakes his head "No".

　　"Well then", she replies, "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it?".

　　Little Tommy looks at her and says, "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.

　　關於簡單英語笑話：Bird jokes

　　Q: What do owls sing when it is raining?

　　A: 'Too wet to woo'!

　　Q: What do baby swans dance to?

　　A: Cygnet-ure-tunes!

　　Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?

　　A: Birds of prey!

　　Q: What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?

　　A: Tweetie Pie!

　　Q: What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

　　A: Jail-birds!

　　Q: How do you get a cut-price parrot?

　　A: Plant bird seed!

　　Q: Why is a sofa like a roast chicken?

　　A: Because they're both full of stuffing!

　　Q: What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek?

　　A: Fowl play!

　　Q: What happens when ducks fly upside down?

　　A: They quack up!

　　關於簡單英語笑話：Flea jokes

　　What is the most faithful insect?

　　A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them!

　　What insect runs away from everything?

　　A flee!

　　What is the difference between a flea and a wolf?

　　One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie!

　　What to you call a Russian flea?

　　A Moscow-ito!

　　Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet?

　　"Why are we running so fast?

　　" said one Because it says "Tear along the dotted line" What do you call a flea that lives in an idiots ear?

　　A space invader!

　　What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea?

　　Bugs Bunny!

　　How do you start an insect race?

　　One, two, flea - go!

　　How do you find where a flea has bitten you?

　　Start from scratch!

　　What is a flea's favorite book?

　　The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy!

　　關於簡單英語笑話：Food 1 liners

　　The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called "The Fission Chips."

　　On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.

　　A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.

　　A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills.

　　The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.

　　A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.

　　Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.

　　Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay waiter."

　　I thought you were trying to get into shape?

　　I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle.

　　關於簡單英語笑話：Talking on the Telephone

　　Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.

　　"You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?" he began.

　　The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though."

　　Just then a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"

　　在電話中交談

　　每個星期天牧師都會把孩子們叫到教堂前面，然後給他們講一個故事。一天，他為了更好地闡述祈禱的含義，帶來了一臺電話機。

　　“你們和別人在電話裡交談，並沒有看到電話線另一端的人，對嗎?”他開始問道。孩子們點頭稱是。“好的，和上帝交談就象通過電話交談一樣。他就在另一端，雖然你看不見他，但是他正在聆聽你的心聲。”

　　就在這時，一個小男孩尖著嗓子問道：“那他的電話號碼是什麼?”