超搞笑的英語故事笑話

　　自古以來,我們中國人就有幽默的傳統,而笑話作為一種流傳最廣的幽默形式,一直為人們喜愛。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　You Do Have a Problem 你真是有問題了!

　　A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom.

　　一位老兄對醫生說明他上廁所有困難。

　　“Do you urinate in the morning?” asked the doctor.

　　“你早上有小便嗎?”醫生問他。

　　“Yeah, every morning at six o’clock.”

　　“有，每天早上六點鐘。”

　　“And how are your bowel movements?”

　　“那大便情況如何?”

　　“Seven o’clock very morning, just like clockwork.”

　　“像時鐘一樣，我每天準時七點鐘上大號。”

　　“So what’s the problem?”

　　“那問題到底出在哪裡呢?”

　　“I don’t get up until eight.”

　　“我八點鐘才起床。”

　　篇二

　　The Bigger They Are, the Harder They Fall 爬得越高，跌得越重

　　The psychiatrist was a bit perturbed. He had cured his patient of his delusions but still the man did not seem happy.

　　一位心理醫師感到有些厭煩。他已治好一名病人的幻想症，但那名患者似乎仍然不快樂。

　　“What’s the matter, Mr. Jones?” he inquired. “Aren’t you glad to be dealing with the world realistically?”

　　“到底是怎麼一回事，瓊斯先生?”他詢問道“。難道你不喜歡踏實地面對周圍的一切嗎?”

　　“Oh, sure, Doc, sure.... Only, last year I was Genghis Khan and now I’m nobody!”

　　“喔，是的，醫生，我是很願意。只是去年我還是成吉思汗，現在我成了無名之輩!”

　　篇三

　　Who Cut the Cheese? 誰在放屁?

　　A young man was visiting his girlfriend’s parents for the first time. He had been quite nervous about it, and his nervousness was manifesting itself as gastric distress. Agonizingly, he felt the urgent need to release some intestinal gas. Surreptitiously, he emitted a “silent but deadly.”

　　有位年輕人第一次去拜訪女朋友的父母親。他好緊張，緊張到腸胃不舒服。令人苦惱的是，他急著要排除腸內的空氣。於是他放了個臭得要命的悶屁。

　　“Rover!” the girlfriend’s mother admonished.

　　“路寶!”女朋友的媽媽警告家裡的狗。

　　The young man realized that the family dog was sitting under his chair, and saw a way out of his difficulties.

　　那個老兄知道他女朋友家的狗就坐在他椅子下，想出了一個解決難題的方法來。他急於舒解，便放了一個更大的響屁。

　　“Rover!” shouted the mother.

　　路寶!”媽媽又一次叫著她家的狗。

　　Thinking his problems were over for sure, the young guy emitted a real window-rattler.

　　年輕人以為他的問題已經結束了，於是他放了一個連窗戶都為之振動的大響屁。

　　“Rover!” cried the mother, “get over here before he shits on you!”

　　“路寶!”媽媽喊道“，快過來這邊，免得他在你身上拉屎!”

　　篇四

　　At Least You Get a Choice 至少你有所選擇

　　A newly deceased sinner had just entered hell, and was being shown around.

　　一名罪人去世後，剛下地獄就被帶往各處走走。

　　“I’ll tell you how it works around here,” declared a particularly hideous devil. “You get your choice of three punishments. Here’s the first.”

　　“我將告訴你這裡的狀況，”一位面目可憎的魔鬼宣佈道。至少你有所選擇“你三種刑罰中選一個，這是第一種。”

　　The sinner watched in horror as he saw men and women repeatedly being immersed in boiling water.

　　罪人看見男男女女反覆地被浸入沸騰的熱水中，嚇得目瞪口呆。

　　“Here’s the second.” The poor sinner shuddered as he saw unfortunate people being continually hounded by ferocious beasts and cruel demons.

　　“再看第二種。”可憐的罪人看到一些不幸的人被凶惡的野獸和殘酷的妖怪不停地追趕，嚇得直打哆嗦。

　　“And here’s the third.” A group was standing knee-deep in shit and sipping tea.

　　“這是第三種。”一群人站在深及膝部的糞池中喝茶。

　　“Well, this seems alright,” said the sinner. “I’ll take this one.”

　　“這個看來還可以，我就選這個。”

　　And he joined the group.

　　罪人說著便加入了那群犯人。

　　No sooner had he done so than another devil yelled out “OK, tea-time’s over. Get back on your heads.”

　　就在他加入不久，一個魔鬼大聲喊道“：午茶時間結束，回到頭下腳上倒立的姿勢。”