初中英語幽默小故事

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　1

　　"We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?"

　　"Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."

　　Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher.

　　"No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"

　　“我們的地下室裡有一隻臭鼬，”打電話的人對警察排程員尖叫道。“我們怎樣才能把它弄出來?”

　　“弄一些麵包屑，”排程員說，“從地下室往外鋪一條小道直到後院。然後將地下室的門開啟。”

　　一段時間後，那位居民又將電話打了回來。“你們將它弄出來了嗎?”排程員問。

　　“沒有，”打電話的人答道，“現在那兒有兩隻臭鼬了。”

　　2

　　Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."

　　Her mother interrupted and said. "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"

　　And Julie replyed, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"

　　朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“上帝，求求你，”她說，“讓那不勒斯成為義大利的首都吧。”

　　媽媽打斷她的話說：“朱莉葉，為什麼求上帝讓那不勒斯成為義大利的首都呢?”

　　朱莉葉回答道：“因為我在地理考卷上是這樣寫的。”

　　3

　　A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned."

　　"You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?"

　　"Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."

　　一對年輕夫婦有個兒子，已經四歲了，還沒有開品說話，他們對此深感焦慮。他們帶他去找專家診治，但醫生們總覺得他沒有毛病。後來有一天早上吃早餐時，那孩子突然開口了：“媽媽，麵包烤焦了。”

　　“你說話了!你說話了!”他母親叫了起來。“我太高興了!但為什麼花了這麼長的時間呢?”

　　“哦，在這之前，”那男孩說，“一切都很正常。”

　　4

　　Jimmy started painting when he was three years old, and when he was five, he was already very good at it. He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and people paid a lot of money for them. They said, "This boy's going to be famous when he's little older, and then we're going to sell these pictures for a lot more money."

　　Jimmy's pictures were different from other people's because he never painted on all of the paper. He painted on half of it, and the other half was always empty.

　　"That's very clever," everyone said, "Nobody else does that!"

　　One day somebody bought one of Jimmy's pictures and then said to him, "Please tell me this, Jimmy. Why do you paint on the bottom half of your pictures, but not on the top half?"

　　"Because I'm small," Jimmy said, "and my burshes don't reach very high."

　　吉米三歲開始畫畫，五歲時已經畫得很好了。他畫了很多美麗而有趣的畫，人們出高價購買。他們說，“這個孩子長大一點肯定會出名，我們可以靠這些畫大賺一筆。”

　　吉米的畫與眾不同。因為他從來不在整張紙上作畫。他只畫一半的紙，而另一半他總空著。

　　“構思多麼巧妙啊!”大家都說，“從來沒有人這麼做過。”

　　有一天，一個人買了吉米的畫，然後問他：“請告訴我，吉米，你為什麼總是在紙的下半部分畫畫，而不是在紙的上半部分?”

　　吉米說，“因為我個頭小，夠不著上面。”