一分鐘幽默英語笑話故事

　　一些幽默的英語故事，能提高我們閱讀英語的興趣，從而提高英語的閱讀能力，今天小編在這裡為大家分享一些，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　篇一

　　瘋狂的司機

　　There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, “Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!”

　　Herman says，“I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!”

　　一位高齡老人開著車在高速公路上駕車時，接到了妻子打來的電話，妻子焦急地告訴他說，“赫爾曼，小心!我剛從電臺上聽到報道說，在280號公路上有一個瘋子正在開車逆行!”

　　赫爾曼說，“我知道，可是不是一個，而是成百上千個!”

　　篇二

　　Dead turtle 死去的烏龜

　　"Mommy, my turtle is dead," the little boy, Myrddin, sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.

　　"媽媽,我的烏龜死了,"小男孩默丁伸出手裡的烏龜給媽媽看,悲傷地對她說.

　　The mother kissed him on the head, then said," That's all right. We'll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for an ice cream soda, and then get you a new pet.

　　媽媽親了一下他的頭,說:"沒關係.我們用紙巾把它包起來,放到小盒子裡,再到後院舉行一個小葬禮.然後我們就去吃冰激凌,再買給你一個新寵物."

　　I don't want you...." Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move. "Myrddin, your turtle is not dead after all."

　　"我不希望你..."媽媽的聲音變小了,因為她發現烏龜在動."默丁, 你的烏龜根本沒死."

　　"Oh," the disappointed boy, wanting ice cream and a new pet, said. "Can I kill it?".

　　"哦,"想著冰激凌和新寵物的男孩失望起來,"我能弄死它嗎?"

　　篇三

　　Egg Donor 雞蛋捐贈人

　　One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it.

　　一天，蘇在打掃床底下的時候，發現了一個小盒子。出於好奇，她把它開啟，發現裡面有3個雞蛋和一萬塊錢。她感覺有些可疑，就找結了婚20年的丈夫質問。

　　"Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad.

　　弗蘭克說：“哦，那個啊，每欺騙你一次，我就放一個雞蛋到盒子裡。”蘇雖然對此有點不開心，不過想到20年間才欺騙她3次，也不算很糟糕了。

　　"But what about the 10,000 dollars?"

　　“但是那一萬塊錢是怎麼會是?”

　　"Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."

　　“每當我攢夠了12個雞蛋，我就把它們賣了。”

　　篇四

　　Bring me the winner 給我那個打贏的吧

　　Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

　　服務員，這個龍蝦只有一隻爪。

　　I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

　　對不起，先生，這隻肯定打過架了。

　　Well, bring me the winner then.

　　哦， 那給我那個打贏的吧。

　　篇五

　　男：Can I buy you a drink?***我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎?***

　　女：Actually I'd rather have the money.***不必，我很有錢。***

　　男：Can I have your name?***直譯：我能有你的名字嗎?***

　　女：Why? Don't you already have one? ***為什麼?你不是已經有一個了嗎?***

　　男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.***我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。***

　　女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.***我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。***

　　男：Is this seat empty?***直譯：這個座位是空的吧?***

　　女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.***是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。***

　　男：Haven't I seen you some place before?***我好象以前在什麼地方見過你?***

　　女：Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.***是的。這就是為什麼我不再去那個地方的原因。***

　　男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?***這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎?***

　　女：Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.***抱歉。這個週末我頭疼。***

　　男：I think I could make you very happy.***我想我能讓你非常快樂。***

　　女：Why? Are you leaving?***是嗎?你是說你要離開?***