簡單的英語冷笑話閱讀

　　冷笑話不同於一般的笑話，以其獨特的制笑機制，能瞬間製造出一種特殊氛圍。小編精心收集了簡單的英語冷笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　簡單的英語冷笑話：上帝在看著

　　The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE.God is watching."

　　學生們在食堂排隊吃午餐。在桌子的一頭有一大堆蘋果，修女寫了一張紙條，貼在蘋果托盤上:“只能拿一個。上帝在看著你。”

　　Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

　　順著午餐隊伍往前走，在桌子的另一端有一大堆巧克力餅乾。一個孩子寫了一張紙條，“想要多少拿多少，上帝正看著蘋果呢。”

　　簡單的英語冷笑話：女人的回答

　　A husband said to his wife, "Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish'?"

　　一位丈夫對妻子說：“為什麼上帝把女人創造得如此美麗卻又愚蠢呢?”

　　"Well," his wife answered at once. "The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them."

　　“噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，“原因很簡單。上帝使我們如此美麗，男人才會愛我們。上帝使我們如此愚蠢，我們才會嫁給他們。”

　　簡單的英語冷笑話：孩子的視角

　　On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today'?"

　　在上學第一天回家的路上，父親問兒子，“你今天在學校做了什麼?”

　　The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nothing".

　　小男孩聳聳肩說:“沒什麼。”

　　Hoping to draw his son into conversation, the father persisted and said, "Well, did you learn about any numbers, study certain letters, or maybe a particular color?"

　　為了把兒了引到談話中來，父親繼續著話題，說道:“那麼，你學習了任何數字、字母或者也許什麼特定的顏色嗎7”

　　The perplexed child looked at his father and said, "Daddy, didn't you go to school when you were a little boy?"

　　困惑的孩子看著父親說:“爸爸，難道你是一個小男孩的時候沒有上過學嗎?”

　　簡單的英語冷笑話：上帝失蹤了

　　There were two brothers who were always up to some mischief. If somebody had been locked up in his house, or if somebody's dog had been painted green, one always knew who the culprits were-the brothers. One day the boys' mother asked a priest to talk to her sons and put the fear of God in them so that they would mend their ways. The priest asked her to send her sons to him one at a time. When the younger boy came, he made him sit and asked him: "Where is God?" The boy did not answer. The priest asked again, in a louder voice: "Where is God?" The boy remained silent. But when the priest asked the same question for a third time, the boy jumped up and ran away. He went straight to his brother. "We are in big trouble!" he gasped. "What's wrong'?" asked the older boy, warily, wondering which of their sins had caught up with them. "God is missing," said the youngster, "and they think we have something to do with it!"

　　有兩兄弟總是搞惡作劇。如果有人被鎖在自己的房子裡，或者誰家的狗被漆成了綠色，人們總知道誰是罪魁禍首—兄弟倆。一天，男孩的母親請牧師和她的兒子們談談，讓他們對上帝感到敬畏，以便他們能改善他們的行為。牧師叫她把兩兄弟一個一個地送過來。年幼一些的孩子過來了，牧師讓他坐下，問他:“上帝在哪裡?”男孩沒有回答。牧師又問，這次聲音更大了:“上帝在哪裡?”男孩仍然保持沉默。當牧師第三次問同樣的問題時，男孩跳起來跑走了。他直奔向他的哥哥。“我們有大麻煩了!”他喘著氣說。“你怎麼了?”年長的男孩謹慎地問，想知道到底因為他們做的哪件壞事人們要逮捕他倆。“上帝不見了，”弟弟說，“他們認為這事和我們有關!”