關於每日英語笑話閱讀

　　前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。小編整理了關於每日英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於每日英語笑話篇一

　　人就是這樣

　　A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window:"ARABS NOT WELCOME"; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn’t want a scandal，so he orders，"OK，give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."

　　一個猶太人在倫敦開了一家猶太教餐館，在餐館的窗戶上寫著:“阿拉伯人不許入內”的字樣。過了幾天，一個特徵鮮明的阿拉伯人走進餐館想要一個三明治。收銀員馬上跑到辦公室問該怎麼辦。餐館老闆不想惹事生非，於是就說，“好吧，賣他一個三明治，但是要收他兩倍錢，這樣就能給他一個教訓了。”

　　But the next day the same Arab is back again一this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple，he’11 get the lesson this time!” The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK,1et him have the reservation, but if his friends do come，charge them tenfold!” The Arabs appear in the evening, have a large dinner, pay without complaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELCOME."

　　但是第二天，那個阿拉伯人又來了，這回他要了一整套午餐。老闆決定收他三倍的錢，這樣他就知道厲害了!那個阿拉伯人吃過午餐後通通快快的付了錢，還稱讚食物非常好吃，甚至預定了當天晚上十個人的晚餐。老闆想了想說:“沒問題，就讓他預定，但是等他的朋友來了就收他們十倍的錢!”等到晚上，那些阿拉伯人真的來了，點了好多菜，毫無怨言地付了十倍的錢，而且還大方地給了不少小費。於是第三天，老闆在窗戶上寫了一行新字:“猶太人不許人內”。

　　關於每日英語笑話篇二

　　陪審團主席

　　A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk--driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence，demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time，so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

　　一位小城市的法官正在處理一個酒後駕車的案件。被告曾經有過酒後駕車的記錄，現在需要一個陪審團做出裁決。那時已經是下午四點，找個陪審團來會浪費很多時間。所以，法官就宣佈休庭，然後就去隨便找些人來充當陪審團。他正好發現在大廳裡有十二個律師，就把他們叫來組成了陪審團。

　　The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury--room, the judge started getting ready to go home , and everyone waited.

　　這些律師們認為能做陪審團將會是個新奇的經歷，所以就同意和那個法官回到了法庭。審訊十分鐘就結束了，因為很明顯被告是有罪的。接著，陪審團進行商議，法官做好了回家的準備，每個人都在等待著最後的結果。

　　After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff in to the jury--room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said，"Well have they got a verdict yet?

　　差不多三個小時以後，法官已經等不及了，他派法警去看看陪審團是否做出了最後的判決。當法警回來的時候，法官問他:“怎麼樣?他們做出了最後的判決沒有?”

　　The bailiff shook his head and said，"Verdict? Hell，they' re still doing nominating speeches for the foreman’s position!”

　　法警搖搖頭說:“判決?天哪，他們還在進行推選陪審團主席的演講呢!”

　　關於每日英語笑話篇三

　　KQED radio announced a few days ago that due to lack of funding, it was canceling its Perspectives commentaries. Next morning, Doug Edwards was checking the call in tape for listener reaction and came across this from a woman on her car phone: "MY name is Julia. Longtime listener. I’m very upset that you're canceling Perspectives and I' m considering canceling my support. Please reinstate…” followed by the sound of squealing brakes, a crash, shattering glass, and Julia yelling "Oh s…，you've made me so mad I just rear一ended the car in front of me. Have to go now.” Click. Poor Julia. Funds were restored，and Perspectives is back on the air.

　　KQED電臺在幾天前宣佈，由於資金緊張，他們將刷掉一個叫做《觀察評論》的節目。第二天一大早，唐·愛得華茲從專門記錄聽眾反饋意見的電話錄音中聽到了一位婦女的留言:“我叫朱莉婭，一個老聽眾了，聽說你們要取消《觀察評論》這個欄目，我感到非常氣憤!我要考慮收回我的資助，除非你們能恢復……”緊接著是一聲急促的剎車聲，然後是撞擊聲和玻璃粉碎的聲音，並且伴隨著朱莉婭的尖叫聲:“天那，你們簡直快讓我發瘋了，剛才我和前面的一輛車追尾了，我掛電話了。”接著便是掛上電話後的滴答聲。可憐的朱莉婭，其實資金已經重新運轉了，《觀察評論》這檔節目也重新開播了。